New Hampshire Legislature Analyzed

At a dinner at the White House hosted by President Kennedy for some of the greatest scientific minds in the world, Kennedy quipped, “This is the greatest collection of minds gathered at the White House since Thomas Jefferson dined alone”.  I was thinking just the other day that we here in New Hampshire can proudly say that when our legislature is in session that the State House has the greatest gathering of intellect since George W. and Dick Cheney dined together at the Cattleman’s Club on barbecued brisket and pecan pie.

It has certainly been an eventful session for the folks up in Concord as they carry their agenda forward, and while I certainly can’t say I agree with everything they have done, I do marvel at some of the things that they have discussed and sent forward.  While it is pouring rain outside and I have absolutely nothing to do all day, I couldn’t possibly find enough time to comment on all the House Bills, but I would like to comment on some of the ones that I find particularly interesting.

Of course, if my children were youngsters, or if my grand-children weren’t covered by a medical plan, I would question why anyone would be more concerned about the unborn than about the children who are already among us and not covered by a plan, but one must only remember that children can’t vote and their parents are lower wage earners who probably don’t vote republican when they do vote.  I do find it interesting, always have, that some idealistic men will vehemently insist that a young scared pregnant women be forced to give birth to a child and then those same God-fearing men will casually deny the young woman simple decent help in the form of ample food stamps, dairy products and health benefits.  But that’s just me.  I’m sure there are excellent reasons for ruining two young lives.

I am not a big fan of photo proof to allow one to vote.  It doesn’t cause me any discomfort, however, because I have a pristine drivers license with a rather adorable likeness of myself that I am proud to display to anyone who asks, like the young checkout girls at Hannaford when I purchase beer..

However, this bill is probably a bit of a drawback to many at our Universities who do not have a New Hampshire legal photo card, but too bad for them.  Chances are they are radicals anyway, their young under-developed minds having been brainwashed by all their Socialist, Communist, Fascist professors who put silly ideals into their heads that might lead them to vote for a Democrat. Stuff like, “You control your own destiny.” or “You need to help those less fortunate.” or “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” and other like drivel.  Better to not take any chances and not let them vote at all, and why not cut funding for our Universities at the same time, just so everyone gets the message.  Multitasking!  We can be proud of our underpaid reps.

But let me get to the stuff I like.  This was beginning to sound like a negative piece.  I certainly wouldn’t want anyone to get that idea.

I like the idea that I no longer have to conceal my weapon.  I can strap my holster to my right thigh, tie the cowhide lacing snugly above my knee, and holster my weapon in plain sight for the whole world to see.  “Return with us now to the days of yesteryear”…

I have been practicing a very long time for this day.  I conservatively estimate that I quick-draw about 500 times each evening.  I have gotten very quick, which is not easy, because my weapon of choice is the sawed-off shotgun that Josh Randall {Steve McQueen} used in WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE.  I have been caring this weapon in my pants for the last 8 years and while I must say I have not had any problems getting a date it is uncomfortable when I sit.  Lest anyone think I am at a disadvantage with only a two shot weapon, I plan on carrying Lucas McCain’s {Celtic not so great Chuck Conners}  rifle from the Rifleman in my left-hand.  I am multilingual so I am proficient in both weapons at the same time.

Speaking of weapons in your pants, this leads me to the next HB which I guess was tabled but will be revisited next year when, hopefully, less people are being shot and killed in New Hampshire.  Stand Your Ground.  Seems Florida has this law, but things are a little dicey right now since an Hispanic man shot a black man and while the law seems to cover that, no one took into account Jesse Jackson and Al Shrapton.  Well, Arizona has a Stand Your Ground law, too.  Seems this time a black man shot and killed a young Hispanic man.  This one didn’t get much press.  For some reason, Jesse and Al didn’t book a flight to Phoenix.

According to reports, the young, mentally-challenged Hispanic man was out walking his dog when he walked in front of a vehicle that was trying to pull out of a fast food parking lot.  The vehicle almost hit him and his dog.  Angry that he was almost run over, the Hispanic man yelled at the black man driving  the vehicle.  Fearing for his safety, and that of his pregnant girlfriend and their unborn child, the black man reached into his pants and pulled out his gun which he then used to kill the Hispanic man.

When the police came the shooter informed them that he feared for the safety of his girlfriend and the unborn baby when this pipe wielding crazy man started making angry advances toward his vehicle, which he could not drive away in because the crazy guys dog was probably in the way.  He had no choice but to shoot him.  Looking around the scene the officers found the dead man and his dog lying beside him tethered to the leash.  The pipe, having no such leash, must have got up and walked away because the cops couldn’t find it.  With no witnesses and a “dead men can tell no lies” mentality, there were no charges forthcoming.

I like this law.  What the heck, I got a sawed-off and Lucas’ rifle you’d have to be crazy to look at me cross-eyed.  But let’s just say you go to work one day and the boss starts yelling at you again.  So you’re a haf-hour late again and hungover and you don’t smell so good.  What’s the Big Deal?  Well, all day long his high and mighty attitude eats at you and after work while you are having a couple you just feel yourself getting angrier.  So you slide off the stool and drive across the tracks to the nice side of town.  You park four houses down from your bosses house and creep silently in the dark up to his house where you begin to urinate on his prize winning rose bushes planted near his front door.  Suddenly, the door opens and your boss comes out yelling, “What the heck do you think you are doing.”    As he starts down the steps you panic, grab your gun with your free hand and hit him with two chest shots.  He goes down hard and doesn’t move.

The police come and you explain that you had had a few too many and were just relieving yourself when this maniac came rushing at you and in the dark it looked like he had a weapon.  “Well, sir, did you think of running away?” the cop asks.  You reply that you couldn’t possibly run away because you could be arrested for indecent exposure.  “Can’t argue with that,” he replies, then offers to get you a cab because you probably shouldn’t be driving in your condition.

But the House Bill I really like is HB0542 which now allows me to object to certain material that is being taught in our schools and to suggest alternative teachings.  My God, where to start?  First, I think our Middle School and High School students are much to young to learn the truth about the Holocaust.  That kind of madness can do irreparable harm to young minds who can’t possibly absorb such insanity.  I suggest our schools explain that six million Jews were killed by a meteorite that landed in Poland during World War 2, which, by the way, could be changed to World Misunderstanding 2.

Then, somewhere around their 30th birthday they will be sent a dvd showing the real horrors perpetrated by an insane man named Adolph Hitler. Perhaps, the same thing can be done for Papa Joe Stalin and the 20 million he killed.  I think it takes a certain maturity to grasp such madness, and I certainly don’t want my children to have a down day over this.

We don’t like to talk about S-X in my household and I am not happy that health classes in our schools address such an intimate subject.  What gives them the right?  When asked “Where did I come from, Daddy?” I was quick to reply, “The stork brought you, son.”  Let me tell you, it worked for us.  No embarrassing discussions about body parts that don’t see the sun.  Plain and simple.

“Daddy, isn’t that an ugly baby?”  “Well, son the stork has a strange sense of humor sometimes.”  “Daddy, John is really one stupid kid.  You should have heard what he said in class today about girls.”  “Yes, son, well the stork has been known to drop an occasional kid on his head.  Don’t pay any attention to Johnny.”  This worked really well for us and I think it should be how we deal with sensitive issues until the child is old enough to understand the truth about S-X.  Somewhere around their 30th birthday they will receive a dvd………

Of course, one very important thing we need to do, and one which I believe our sainted Legislature will eventually get to, is we need to support our brothers in Tennessee who have mandated that Creationism must be discussed in the Science class if it is brought up.  Amen!  I don’t know how we got away from this.  Who is Darwin, anyway?  Do I look like a distant relative was a monkey? No!  Do I look like I crawled out of a fetid swamp at the junction on the Tigris and Euphrates?  I don’t think so!

We need to get back to the basics of reading, riting and rithmatic.  The 3 r’s that made this country grrrrrrreat.  Somehow we lost our way, but with the collective intellect in Concord leading the way, New Hampshire, and soon the entire nation that will follow us, we will go back to the way things use to be.

Not that any of this created one job.  But jobs are vastly over-rated and can lead to urinating on rose bushes.

A Londonderry Resident, Bob Napolitano is extremely active in Londonderry Sports. Bob even published a sports news paper he hand delivered to homes in the 1990′s.

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  1. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1Bill

    What an article. Yes therre are folks on the far right as well as the far left. I don’t think one has to ponder to long as to which “Far SIde” you belong.

    So I guess I’ll comment from what you would consider the far right. I like to call it common sense.

    Forcing scared young girls to go through with the birth of an unwated child? I’m personally opposed to abortion. However, the law says that it is an option. I may not agree with it but I would never condemn any female for having has one. I also believe that as a society we have an obligation to care for those that truely need help. The issue I have is where is the father? In order to recieve benefits the mother should be required to name the father. He can then be held responsible for financial help for his child.

    Photo ID’s required to vote? Oh the horror. In every other instance where an id is required, people somehow miraculously seem to be able to get one. That goes for everything from a drivers license to signing up for welfare. The argument is that if one is required, the poor and elderly will be disenfranchised. How elitist. You honestly believe that a person’s age or economic situation impedes their ability to get an id? I guess I tend to give them more credit in their abilities than you do.

    I agree that those with mental impairments should not be able to purchase a gun. But with every law there are always going to be some issue that people could point to to say that “see, that’s a bad law”. As far as Stand Your Ground? Remeber this, when seconds count the police are minutes away.

    Objecting to subject being taught in schools? I for one, and I believe that fior the vast majority of parents, that the teaching of factual history is not an issue. Who has said that teaching FACTS should be up to review by parents. It’s when a teacher’s or school system’s philosophy is being taught and that goes against the parent’s values, they should be able to opt out.

    As far as creationism, why not teach it as a possibility? After all it’s called Darwin’s THEORY of Evolution> Not Darwin’s FACT of Evolution. After all his theory has NEVER been definatively proven. So why not include all possibilities?

    Well I guess I’ve spewed enough of my Far Right Wing thoughts. Thank God, yes God, that the liberals haven’t taken that away yet. What am I saying? A bill has recently passed congress that limits demonstrations and critical speach against the President and members of congress.

  2. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Jenn

    Fantastically written!

  3. Vote -1 Vote +1Martin Srugis

    Nice piece Bill!

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