Chipotle (Soviet) Mexican Grill

The Phantom has been busy trying local lunch places.  Visiting Wrap Skak and Janie’s in Londonderry and new take-out place on the DW Highway in Nashua called Chipotle.  Posted the review of the Wrap Shak a few weeks back.  Today we take a look at Chipotle in Nashua.

Several decades ago while visiting an Eastern European country the Phantom had the pleasure of standing for several hours in a bread line.  When the Phantom got into the stark looking store there was one item to select from, bread.

I was reminded of that queue at a recent visit to Chipotle in Nashua on the DW highway.  Phantom and guests stood in line for a long time to be presented with just two options.  Taco or Burrito.  Sorry, that would be “Gourmet” Taco and Burrito.  Yes there are other options salad or chips/salsa; but the only thing they serve are Taco’s and Burrito’s.  The corporate chain based in Denver (slightly north of the border) presents a décor in its stores that is as stark as its menu.  Concrete brushed floors, dull steel beams and counters, and communal table and chairs.  Gruff staff and assembly line food construction round out the Soviet style feel of the place.

Now to the food.  Warning, their hot sauce is hot.  Not just hot, but so hot the ‘man vs. food’ guy from TV would have a hard time completing any taco/burrito with hot sauce.  Warning, their mild sauce is hot.  You get the point.  The over-powering heat rendered the meal totally tasteless.  Just as well, as what was left was totally inedible.

Options for taco/burrito fillings are chicken/steak.  Grilled with varying adobe this and adobe that; a profile that just adds to the tongue numbing lip curling heat.  Steak on the burrito was grizzly, tough and chewy.  The chicken on the taco was also dry, over-cooked and over-powered with spices.  Options for completing the taco/burrito included lettuce, tomato, guac, lime-flavored-rice (the only thing all agreed that actually tasted good); black/pinto beans (that were slopped into the taco/burrito, making them mushy); and sour cream.

According to their corporate web-site there are a whole nation of Chipotle fans and they post pictures of their fan-antics.  One shot shows someone throwing a burrito to the crowd.  More appropriately the caption should state throwing away a burrito to the crowd.

Lots and lots of choices for ‘Mexican’ food in and around Londonderry and southern NH.  If you make a list of where to go to next, put Chipotle on the bottom of that list.  Way down.

On our Fat Phantom five-fork scale………

Service – 0 – Soviet Friendly !
Food – 1
Value – 0
Overall – 0 – Like a Moscow bread line in the winter, just stay away

Locally Chipotle is located at 225 DW Highway in Nashua and also can be found at 926 South Willow St. in Manchester

Visit them at www.chipotle.com There you will discover their corporate culture.  Unfortunately, in Nashua they forgot about the food.

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15 Responses

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  1. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Critic Lover

    After reading this review I was reminded of Toby Keith’s song, “The Critic”.

    “Tell it like it is…

    He gets up real early on his mornin drive.
    Down to the office for his 9 to 5.
    He drives a 94, 2 ton, economy car.
    Loves to tell the local bands down at the bar that he’s The Critic.

    Yea, I can hook you up, I know everybody, in the business.

    He flunked junior high band he couldn’t march in time.
    He tried to write a song once, he couldn’t make it rhyme.
    He went two or three chords on a pawn shop guitar,
    He just never quite had what it took to be a star, so he’s a critic.

    I work for the Gazette man…I got a real job.

    He did a 5-star column on a band he never heard.
    He did a bluegrass review about an unkind word.
    He thought it was time to ask his boss for a raise,
    His boss said I can’t even tell if anybody’s even readin your page.

    Yea…

    So he thought…and he thought a little more.

    He caught a young hot star headin into town,
    And then he hid behind his typewriter and gunned the boy down.
    Here come the letters, the e-mails, the faxes,
    They raised him to 20,000 dollars after taxes.

    He’s a happy critic…

    He’s rollin in the dough…

    Man I could do this forever…this is easy. Everybody’s readin my column!

    Please don’t tell my mom, that I write the music column for the Gazette.
    She still thinks I play piano down at the Cathouse.”

  2. +3 Vote -1 Vote +1Fat Phantom

    Phantom reminds all that he is not paid nor reimbursed for his culinary endeavors.

    Rumor amongst the staff at LTownNews is that John and Joe have the big expense accounts.

    1. +3 Vote -1 Vote +1John Robinson

      yeah, and we’re spending it on taco bell.

      1. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1George Herrmann

        And I can’t even get a bag of stinkin’ apples. Sheesh.

  3. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Larry

    Well, if the growth of the Chipotle chain across the country (and the line at the Nashua location) is any indication, your review doesn’t match with a good sized segment of the target audience.

    However, as you point out, we are definitely getting a review worth every cent you were paid for it.

  4. Vote -1 Vote +1Haha

    The is one of the worst examples of a food review I have ever read. Do you actually know anything about the food that you eat? It’s cilantro in the rice, not ‘lime flavored’ and there are more than two choices of meat, and more than two options-like salads, or served in a bowl. Customers go in for the simplistic and quick options they offer, instead of chowing down at McDonald’s, which wouldn’t surprise me if you chose that chain over a chain that promotes using organic and local foods.

    1. Vote -1 Vote +1Fat Phantom

      Dear HaHa, we are both correct. LIME is also a main ingredient in the rice.

  5. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1momof2

    I loved the review, it’s honest and funny. Since I spend my calories wisely, I’ll skip this place. Thank you :-)

  6. Vote -1 Vote +1Mark

    This person is an idiot! The burritos are great! If you don’t want heat don’t order the hot. Definitely biased for some reason.

    1. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1momof2

      little harsh to call a person whose opinion you don’t agree with an idiot, don’t you think? You should follow Frank Campisi’s example.

  7. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1Frank Campisi

    I’ll have to disagree with this review as well. Three recent Sundays in a row I was driving home through Nashua and each time I made it a point to stop at Chipotle. The burritos are flavorful and the portions ample. The salsa comes in mild, medium, and hot. I’ve had them all and they were not overpowering. Missing from the review are two more options that can be added, a corn salsa and guacamole. The servers have all been pleasant and while the decor is minimal it has always been clean. Even better news is that a new location has opened on S. Willow.

  8. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Lynn Wiles

    Grizzly meat must be a bear to eat.

  9. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1Mark

    No. Idiot fits quite well. Who orders hot and then complains about it? What’s next? Ice cream that is too cold.

  10. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1Heather Rojo

    I guess the author didn’t know that Chipotle is a BURRITO RESTAURANT, which would be like complaining that Five Guys only serves burgers. It’s not a Mexican restaurant, it’s a burrito take out place.

  11. -2 Vote -1 Vote +1Fat Phantom

    Sorry to correct you Heather, but you are not correct.

    Their web page and menu say MEXICAN GRILL and not Burritos are Us. Even the Phantom recognizes their is more to Mexican food than burritos.

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